What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"See you next month!"
Why do doctors spank babies when they are born?
To knock the dicks off the dumb ones.
How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time.
Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is?
Free ham.
What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, your wife either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her.
