How do you get a Jewish girl's number?
Pull up her sleeve.
Man goes into doctor's office and says, "Doctor! I have five penises!"
Doctor says, "My god man, how does you pants fit?!!"
Man says, "Like a glove!"
This beautiful lady walks in to a bar. A guy sitting at the bar looks over and says "Oh wow, you're gettin laid tonight!". She looks over at him and says, "Oh yeah? How do you know?" He replies, "Because I'm stronger than you."
Guy and a girl are on their first date. "Why don't we go back to my place?" he says.
"Isn't it presumptuous to think I'd sleep with you on our first date?" she asks.
"Isn't 'presumptuous' a big word for a 9-year old?"
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat came up and flashed them. One old lady immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.
What do you call a Chinese woman with no legs?
Dragon Pussy.
Why do chicken coups only have two doors?
Because if they had four they would be a chicken sedan.
How do you get a gay person to have sex with your girlfriend?
Shit in her cunt.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.
